There are places I remember...

All my life, though some have changed. Some forever, not for better. Some have gone, and some remain. All these places have their moments of lovers and friends I still can recall. Some are dead and some are living. In my life I loved them all.

And with all these friends and lovers, there is no one compares with you. And these memories lose their meaning, when I think of love as something new. And I know I'll never lose affection for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life I loved you more.



Sometimes I am angry with the way the world operates. I despise the way people are treated for their differences. I see the storm building behind the mountains, and I know that it will eventually become too great for even the mountains to hold back. It will come rolling over, angry and wrathful, to lay waste and destruction to the valley below it. At the same time, the people will say: "it is good; the rain, because it brings life to the desert. It washes away the dust and springs forth a greener place; alive." It is the rain that washes us away, and it is the rain that keeps us alive.



There is more than one obvious metaphor that I am making here. I'll leave it to be interpreted as it will, because they are all accurate.



Sometimes I doubt my worth here. Sure, it is fun, exciting, new, different. But is it where I am supposed to be, doing what I am supposed to be doing? Sometimes I feel needed in Columbia. Most of the time I feel wanted in Columbia. And all the time I feel like my life is in Columbia, and I miss my community greatly, and more that I thought possible. I certainly did think it very possible, not to be confused. I miss my family, although I know that I will see them again, and often. I am scared to the depths of my soul of losing the friendships that are natural, encouraging, comfortable, and right. I know certainly that this sort of friendship is not common or easily developed. I also know that I may never find this sort of friendship again. It is that rare. I never doubted who I was, or whether I was doing something worthwhile when we were pursuing together.

Home is where the...

I'm settling into Tucson in a weird sort of way. I say weird because I've been to Albu- querque and to Coronado National Memorial in the last two weeks. I've definitely spent at least as much time in those places as I have in Tucson.

The Pre-Service Orientation in Albuquerque has proven an incredibly valuable tool in making friends here in Tucson.

Part of my On Site Orientation has been going to work with one of the crews that was stationed in Coronado National Memorial, which is a hefty <1 mile from the Mexican border. Actually, it's a hefty <1 ft from the border, but we were working about a mile from the border. What does that mean? It means that the number of undocumented immigrants in that area is unbelievably heavy, as it's a completely rural area through which they can cross to enter our country, either for illegal but legit reasons, or to deal drugs or something of the sort. It was an interesting area to hang out in. I also saw a tarantula, 3 scorpions, a green snake (the crew saw 3 rattlers though), a road runner, a bunny, a falcon, some deer, some pretty awesome lightening, and a medical helicopter (that was evac-ing an undocumented immigrant that had injured himself), all while I was swinging a pick axe at rocks. Yes, that is why I went to college. It was incredible. I never saw the stars, though, because I went to sleep with the sun.

As far as the settling goes, I've made friends with a girl named Hailey, who was at the PSO in Albuquerque. She's fun, nice, kind, and used to an entirely different culture than I, coming from Michigan. In other fantastically exciting news, Ryan is moving down here in a couple of weeks. That makes me excited to no end. It's always so good to hang out with him. I've also attended a Presbyterian Church that I enjoyed, and already had to cancel a meeting with the pastor due to work obligations. I've found some really cute areas, including the one that I'm writing this from, which is adjacent to the University of Arizona ( a coffee shop, duh! called Espresso Art, that Erin would like). So, all is well, and I'm very happy to be here. Oh, and just so you all know, even though none of you know this exists, I moved here in (at this point) Tucson's 2nd hottest summer in history. 3 more days of 100+ (to equal 40) would break the previous record.

there to here and all in between...

Beaufort, SC. Columbia, SC. Knoxville, TN. Nashville, TN. St. Louis, MO. Hays, KS. Denver, CO. Telluride, CO. Durango, CO. Phoenix, AZ. San Diego, CA. Tucson, AZ.

Kansas is a wide state full of nothing. 600 miles of nothing. God has been teaching me some awesome things throughout this trip. I only hope that I won't fall into the routine so common to the daily grind. Tucson is my new home, and now that I'm here I'm feeling a little bit less adventurous. Last night was only my 2nd night in the last 17 in a place by myself. The city is good. I only hope I can get plugged into a community quickly so I don't get too bored all by my lonesome.

This country of ours is quite impressive. 56 hours in my car has shown me quite a bit of it, and what God created for us, to awe us, to wow us is unfathomably brilliant.

moving on...

beaufort, columbia, knoxville, nashville, st. louis, kansas city, denver, durango, flagstaff, phoenix, tucson.

i'm in rock city right now. it's clean. besides the dangerous air quality warning i saw on the interstate, which asked everyone to please carpool.

camping or sleeping in the car? tonight it looks like the car.

i hope erin finds my blog soon. it would be nice to know she was reading it.

Blogs can be really pretty, but i pretty much hate feeling like i have to post on them constantly. I also suck at journaling.

Keep Praying

take up your cross

What does it mean to take up your cross and follow Jesus? It is clearly obvious that this is an important action to take, and that it is one that we should be very comfortable with, as it is required daily. Although this is how it should be, it is not. I know I wake up most mornings and instead of reaching to my night stand and picking up that cross and following the Father I hit the snooze button and continue to sleep. That is not only literal. Seriously, I hit the real snooze button too, but that is not what I mean. I clearly intend to say that I keep on sleeping and not walking with Jesus. Yes, it is a painfully cheesy analogy.

Okay, vent time: Christians are called to take up their cross and follow Jesus, denying their selfish ambitions, sinful nature, all that heinous stuff. So, as a Christian, does that not mean that we are called to not go out and get drunk as a community? Are we supposed to not have sex?

Should we go out as a group of Christians with the intention of getting drunk and not rebuke each other when we are in the process of that sin?

Absolutely not! We are called as Christian brothers and sisters to rebuke even in situations that may be out of our precious little comfort zones. That is part of being a good Christian family.

Guh. Too much distraction to finish this thought.

love is the only answer...

I wish that I had something monumentally important to say or something that would forever change the way we viewed the world. I was reading Airman Jones' blog this morning when I decided that there could be a certain beauty in a blog. I am going to try to treat this as a forum for discussion, even if it may only be my mind doing the discussing. Here is a place that I can come to explore the meaning of things. Here is a place I can come to discuss the atrocities I see. Here is a place that I can come simply to talk about the world.




"please slow it down / there's a secret magic past world that you only notice when you're looking back at it / all I wanna do is turn around / I'm going down to sleep on the bottom of the ocean / because I couldn't let go when the water hit the setting sun"

-Rocky Votolato "White Daisy Passing"