All my life, though some have changed. Some forever, not for better. Some have gone, and some remain. All these places have their moments of lovers and friends I still can recall. Some are dead and some are living. In my life I loved them all.
And with all these friends and lovers, there is no one compares with you. And these memories lose their meaning, when I think of love as something new. And I know I'll never lose affection for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life I loved you more.
Sometimes I am angry with the way the world operates. I despise the way people are treated for their differences. I see the storm building behind the mountains, and I know that it will eventually become too great for even the mountains to hold back. It will come rolling over, angry and wrathful, to lay waste and destruction to the valley below it. At the same time, the people will say: "it is good; the rain, because it brings life to the desert. It washes away the dust and springs forth a greener place; alive." It is the rain that washes us away, and it is the rain that keeps us alive.
There is more than one obvious metaphor that I am making here. I'll leave it to be interpreted as it will, because they are all accurate.
Sometimes I doubt my worth here. Sure, it is fun, exciting, new, different. But is it where I am supposed to be, doing what I am supposed to be doing? Sometimes I feel needed in Columbia. Most of the time I feel wanted in Columbia. And all the time I feel like my life is in Columbia, and I miss my community greatly, and more that I thought possible. I certainly did think it very possible, not to be confused. I miss my family, although I know that I will see them again, and often. I am scared to the depths of my soul of losing the friendships that are natural, encouraging, comfortable, and right. I know certainly that this sort of friendship is not common or easily developed. I also know that I may never find this sort of friendship again. It is that rare. I never doubted who I was, or whether I was doing something worthwhile when we were pursuing together.
